Statements...

My boyfriend/common-law spouse has taught me a lot about communication. A LOT. I am sad to admit that although I have considered myself a writer since my childhood, I was never a star at communicating. He has taught me a great deal about communication. One of the distinct things he's pointed out are things like the following. He calls them bait. I have come to realize that with MANY (read: almost every damned one) situations these are nothing but bait.

~My arm hurts.

~I can't come, I can't afford it.

~I put it right here!

~I am pregnant.

~I'm hungry.

~Men are stupid.

~Women are bitches.

~My knee is bleeding.

~The welfare came and took my babies.

~I can't lift this.

~Homosexuals are pedophiles.

~All Indians are criminals.

~Alcoholics are chronically unemployed.

~Drug addicts are homeless.

~She's so fat.

~You're so fat.

~You're tall.

~You's ingnant, you ain't gots no learnin'.

~If either of you had been paying any attention, you might have noticed that I have been desperately ill. The people who are close to me have all been very concerned.

Ok, so I threw the last one in for fun. Fact is, none of these (even if you felt compelled to respond) are questions. They were all statements. Not one of them requires a response....even if you want to; there was nothing asked of you.

I agree that as a society we should respond to many "statements". Example? My 11 yr old daughter likes to hang out with the "grown-ups" at gatherings. She subsequently ended up hearing (from a young father, raised by a very good family with extreme opposing views) "fuckin' homos should all die, in fact, if I find any around me and my family, I'll fuckin' kill them". To which she replied "I hope you're not teaching your daughter the things you're saying, what you're saying is just stupid". When you're standing up against hatred you probably should respond to "statements".

There is a distinction though. There is a difference between making a statement versus conversing. I don't know when our society transitioned into making statements instead of leading with what we intend. Maybe it's been here since the dawn of time. I don't know because I wasn't around.

I guess what I'm saying is that while statements are a vital part of communicating and conversing, many of us fall prey to the statements that are NOTHING but BAIT!!

I, personally, have stopped responding to most statements. I have found a freedom in letting people spout off and state whatever they please. I'm not saying statements are bad....I'm saying they don't always require a response....*again*....even if you WANT to respond!

We're raising our daughters to ask, clearly, for what they want and avoid making statements in hopes that others will take care of them. I challenge you to listen to what others say....or state. You'll be amazed at how many people use statements instead of questions.

If you intend to get a result: ASK A QUESTION. If you intend to make a statement (requiring no response) feel free to do so. All I ask is that you don't bitch when you make a statement and no one responds. There is a difference....look into it.