Silver Lining?

I often try to see the bright side of things. I'm a master at playing the cards I'm dealt. I can make something out of nothing. I used to be referred to as wildly optimistic, so I toned it down. I'm a realist at heart, but I get really excited about reality!! My life is great and I have very few complaints.

I'm still human though. When we were burglarized I bitched and whined in extraordinary fashion. I was hurt, infuriated and felt a massive loss.

Having to replace the stolen jewels was less than enjoyable. In fact it was completely void of pleasure, at least initially. Then my silver lining kicked in. I decided that instead of "replacing" what was stolen or attempting to recapture memories and sentimental value I'd watch and wait. I'd watch the displays and counters and wait for it to find me. I couldn't replace my Nanny's 4 carat ruby; no point in trying. I needed new memories...new sentimental value.

My grad ring from Jostens had a lifetime warranty and I still had the receipt!! However, Jostens didn't seem to appreciate having to abide within their warranty. They were EXTREMELY uncooperative and downright rude. Sure, they'll sell you a great ring with a great warranty, but if you have to collect on that warranty don't do it in your true time of need. They are less than compassionate.

It's all ok now though! I found a great website that does fantastic grad rings. I never really like the Jostens rings because from about 40 feet away you can tell it's a grad ring. This website has some fantastic options that don't look like grad rings. I'm kind of giddy about getting that ring because I can wear it everywhere.

I love pearls, 100% my absolute favorite mineral. I find diamonds to be quite boring; I prefer my jewelry to have zero diamonds. The man I love bought me a nice white pearl set. The whole she-bang. Ring, earrings, necklace and bracelet. It was awesome and I loved it. It too was stolen. Now, the exact same set is still available at the large chain store....but I didn't want the same one, the goal is new memories. Well, lo and behold! They have the same set in BLACK!! Mmmmhmmm. Oh yeah, back in black baby!! I got the black set.

My engagement ring was simple and perfect. It was a slightly pink pearl with a diamond on each side. When he asked me to be his wife it was Christmas of 2007 it felt like he was asking me and both my lil' diamonds in the rough to be his family. It meant the world to me and to have it taken from me was heartbreaking. I always wanted a pearl solitaire, just like a diamond solitaire but better! When I looked at the solitaires they seemed lacking though. They all seemed to be waiting, wanting.....kind of anticipatory. You know, waiting for the wedding band. Anyone who knows me knows my feelings regarding brides/weddings. If I get a solitaire it will always be a solitaire, there will never be an accompanying band. My choice. I have no issue being a wife! LOVE IT!! I happen to know that I don't have to get married to be a wife though. Which left me with a dilemma. Get a solitaire and leave it wanting or get the mother lode. The problem with the mother lode is the diamonds that accompany it. I had some decisions to make and this is what I went with! 44 diamonds totaling .333 carats surrounding a 10mm SOUTH SEA white pearl!! Second best quality in the whole wide world too! I know it has diamonds....but it's pretty hard to find a ring that isn't "waiting" and doesn't have diamonds. I accepted the diamonds and the ring is epic.

Lastly, the 4 carat ruby from my Nanny who passed away in August. I found my new ring in a local mall. The stone is my favorite colour set in my favorite colour of gold. It's wickedly weird too. The stone looks twisted and squashed with only two prongs holding it. It's vicious and makes no sense....until you look at it closely.....then it all makes sense. It's me.

I know my Nanny probably loved that ruby. It was her sister's and I'm sure it had some serious sentimental value to my Nanny. That value was between her and her sister though. Not between Nanny and I. I also know that if my Nanny could, she'd buy me a ring. Something that had sentimental value between her and I. She'd want me to have something that was fun and something that made me smile. I've spent months being upset that I lost her ring, Nanny would tell me to let it go. So I'm trying to do just that.

Oh, and because I have a new engagement ring he made sure I'd have a new memory to go with it. He picked me up at work, with our girls and got down on bended knee right in the lobby. He proposed all over again.

The burglary was horrid, but there is a silver lining.

My Dream

When I was a little girl I had only one dream. I kept it close to my heart and reveled in it. I would lay in bed at night and imagine I accomplished my dream. I know it sounds silly, because I was about 4 years old dreaming a pretty big dream. It was my only dream though and I clung to it. I've clung to it for more than 30 years. I didn't tell everyone about it, surprisingly I've only ever told a few people

I was 4 but I wasn't even slightly naive about my dream. I knew it was gritty, raw and dangerous. Yet it still burned inside me. I don't have high expectations, I have realistic ones. I couldn't talk about my dream much. Seriously, it was so deep within my personal private desires and felt like part of the fabric of my soul. I can cry just talking about it.

I know, smacks of bullshit right? Fabric of my soul? Coughjerkcough. I never talk like that. I don't refer to my man as my soul mate because it smacks of bullshit. I don't consider myself a cynic, I'm a realist. Realistically people don't have soul mates and realistically very few people accomplish their dreams. If you don't believe me, come do my day job. Now, I'm not a sad person, nor am I bitter or angry. I just don't like that sappy shit. It's shit. Except when it comes to my dream. Haha!

I've dreamed my entire life of breathing the air in NYC. Just to stand on a Manhattan street and look up. I don't want to do the tourist thing. The only thing I ever wanted to see was the Wall Street sign. You know, the street sign....nothing big. I just want to be there.

Well guess what baby?! I'm bustin' out. I'm grabbing this dream by the hair and making it mine. I've booked it!! I'm going to Manhattan for a week! The best part is....oh wait....EVERY part is the best part.

I am taking my daughters and my manthingy. We're staying in a 4 star, 4 diamond boutique hotel that has never had bedbugs on the bedbug registry. We are flying direct on Westjet! Round trip flight and hotel is costing me $1,100 a person. We are totally doing the tourist thing and I couldn't be giddier!! To name a few, we are going to Top of the Rock, Times Square, Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Staten Island Ferry, Central Park and all it's wonders, Katz's Deli, Hook and Ladder 8 (Ghostbusters firehouse), the Beast, Empire State building, a friend who lives in NYC is getting me onto the actual trading floor of the New York Stock Exchange (not just the gallery), the Federal Reserve and lastly, most importantly....the Dakota. You know, he was shot on my 5th birthday. I was young, but I knew how to Imagine.

We talked long and hard about accomplishing my dream. I never, ever made plans to do so. I just kept in close, holding it in my heart. When we began talking about it I rejected the idea. He slowly coaxed me and asked questions, subtle prying questions. You know, the way only an annoying person who loves you wildly can do.

I can see it. I see it in my heart. I see me there, with my children and my lover....living the dream that begun when I was only 4. When I was a child I knew it would take a long time and I knew I wouldn't go alone. In researching the city, the historic battles, the ghost stories, the landmarks and the geography something amazing has happened. It's captured the hearts of my daughters. It's become a part of them too. They are going to live the dream right along with me. Best of all, they're going to love it.

So, before I start crying....again....let me leave you with some things.

Where my dream began, Neil Sedaka

Oh, Billy you are the best

Frank, you stole it and made it wonderful

Just watch it, don't judge, it makes me sob , both of these artists were raised in Manhattan by single Moms.