I Kiss Your Lips and Close My Eyes

He spends his time with me, shares his bed with me, calls me, spoils me and always has my back.

He'll never be mine though.

No matter how much time we spend, no matter how wonderful I am, no matter how well things work and click from beginning to end......he belongs to her.

She won't release him, he won't walk away.

Often I think he chooses her because he knows he would love me more....and that scares him. I think he's more comfortable with the devil he knows than the devil he doesn't. Falling for me is more dangerous to him and he fights it all the time. He tells me that he fights it.

He will tell me how much he cares about me. There's an abundance of affection and adoration for me. He goes out of his way, day in and day out, to show me how he feels about me.

But when I look in his eyes....I see it. I'm not stupid. I see her, how much he misses her, how much he will never love me.

There's no doubt, none at all, that he loves me to some extent. We are wild together. There's places he could take me, and things he could do to me.....but I won't. I would fall so hard. It would be foolish to fall so hard for someone that will never reciprocate.

I am foolish for even getting this far with him. I should have run long ago. He does things to me that I can't resist. He unlocks things in me that I sealed long ago, things that bring joy. Even sounds he makes.......

I guess, as an old lover wrote:

I'm Over the edge, I could still set myself free
But I'm going to ride it down
Ride it down